Dream•sync

and then some...

So I woke up this morning after a great Sunday evening and a late drive home with that raw feeling in your throat right behind your nose...  not good.  That usually means I'm getting sick.  Again.

It was easier when I lived by myself when the 'sick' season came around.  Mostly because my interaction with people was extremely limited so I avoided sinus things very easily.  Now not so much.  However, if I had a choice between isolating myself in my apartment and hanging out with friends I'll choose the latter.  It's worth it :)

So the fact that I'm not feeling so hot is clouding my judgment.

It just makes it harder to ignore comments like 'will we ever see you on the weekends?' and 'why would you ever get involved with that music group when there is so much to do here?'

Discouraging.  And hard brush off when this music thing has come so far so quickly.  This past weekend on the drive to practice I was praying that the Lord would give me lyrics.  Give me a song.  Sometimes I feel like I have so little to offer and other times I feel so full of my own pride that I feel useless because I'm in the way.  It's a constant back-and-forth wrestling against my prideful flesh and against the lies of the evil one who would try to shame me into silence.

The good news is I think I have at least one chorus.  And the beginnings of another song that I woke with on Sunday morning. Funny thing is it's like I was writing in preparation for this trial...  I've been reminded of late of Paul and the 'thorn in his flesh'.   And of the Lord's response to his request, "My grace is sufficient for you..." And I woke up early on Sunday with a melody and the beginnings of lyrics for this song.  Which I've been singing to myself for the last few days as if I heard it on the radio.  Kinda weird, but a blessing nonetheless.

Your grace is sufficient for me, Oh Lord;
Your grace is sufficient for me.
Help me remember when the trials come
that Your grace is sufficient for me.

So you can't hear the melody, but it's clear as a bell in my head... and now comes the fear that it's already been written and I'm just regurgitating it :)

Anyway, working on verses for it.  And I'll still need melody and music help, but it's a start.  And it's a message that apparently I need to remember. 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

II Corinthians 12:9-10

and another verse that brings comfort...

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed...

1 Corinthians 4:7-9

So a slightly discouraging day.  But not enough to make me discontinue the path that I believe the Lord has me on...

Listening to: "Fool For You" by Nichole Nordeman on FLN
Reading: 'Vitals' by Greg Bear. Just started and it's rough plot is the modern search for immortality.
Studying: 'Living Beyond Yourself' by Beth Moore. Week 5: Peace Be with You. Still catching up on homework :)